Unhappy in love? It's alway's our partner's fault. Ever hear anyone say "My Relationship is a mess and I'm the problem?"
Insensitivty, betrayal, abuse-- it's true that we human beings are capable of terrible behavior. And it hurts deeply to be mistreated by the person you expect to treat you best. But no one can take your peace or power unless you surrender it. No one's behavior makes you miserable for long unless you allow it too. It's not our lover's bad behavior that makes us crazy, but how we internalize and respond to it. It's time to awake from our fantasy; No one is perfect. We'll forever be disappointed in love if our emotions are tied to who we think our mate should be. But, the biggest mistake we make is in selecting our partners. Sometimes we accept as a lover a person we'd never have as a friend, or we don't recognize a divine-right partner whose packaging isn't bright and shiny; We forget that the gift is on the inside...
Terrance 'Gangsta' Williams
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Thoughts From The Belly of The Beast
Another day trapped in my sorrow thinking about my children,family, and friends... What to do about tomorrow, how to make a bad day and situation better, how to make pain and fears clear to the ones I love in a letter! Knowing right from wrong while I was doing wrong from the start... Chasing and catching devalued dollars constantly in vain to make everything better for my family knowing it could and would tear us apart! The life of a baller-- the cars, girls, money, power that lasted for a couple of years and vanished in hours... A fool for wanting to attain and keep the eye candy of the world you can't have... When you see your folly, and realize it all in your suffering for the try, you want to cry but all you can do is laugh...
Who's the Gangster now?
Who's the Gangster now?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
A Drug Program
Here in FCI Jesup Mr. Henry Brown has put together a program for the nonresidential drug class. I knew the impact I help cause in my hood so I decided to join him and help with the class.. Not being selfish, I thought of you and a way you can help your friends, family members, etc. By placing this on my Blog.
Objective: CHANGING VALUE SYSTEMS
Week 1 Introduction
During the introduction we will touch on the purpose of the class and the various topics we will cover over a twelve week period.
TOPICS
WEEK 2 Defining Values
WEEK 3 Origin of Values
WEEK 4 Prioitizing our Values
WEEK 5 Blaming & Diversion
WEEK 6 Criminal lifestyles & Users
WEEK 7 Living with others
WEEK 8 Responsibilty
WEEK 9 Recovery Maintenance
WEEK10 Relapse Prevention
WEEK 11 Transition
WEEK 12 Staying true to our Values
WEEK 2 Defining Values
Group Discussion : What are Values ?
We will discuss way's of challenging our thinking errors and focus on what is a rational thought versus an irrational thought.
We will take words like Morals, Principles, Worth, Honesty, and Esteemed Characteristic, etcs, and break them down using Webster's dictionary as our base.
We will discuss individually how and what these word's mean to us, and why they are important in our lives.
Define the following word's:
1 Respect 2. Moral 3. Honesty 4. Worth 5. Responsibility 6. Principles 7. Esteemed Characteristic....
Give a brief reason why these values are important in our lives.....
WEEK 3. ORIGIN OF VALUES
Group Discussion: Where do our values come from?
In this session we will cover the sources of our values systems. Our sources can be our parents, Churches, Mosques, Schools, Friends, The streets, B.E.T., vh1 and even Telemundo.....
Although values can come from many different places, it is very important that we be true to ourseleves.
WEEK 4 PRIORITIZING OUR VALUES
Group Discussion:
Putting the thing's most important to us first, and the thing's less important last.. Here is a list of thing's that should be first. God, Family, Job , wORK, Friends, CLOTHES, CAR, HOME, EDUCATION
WEEK 5 BLAMING
This is a tactic that is used to keep us from looking at ourselves
Denial of responsibility: I WAS SET UP
Denial of Injury: I HAD A GUN BUT IT WASN'T LOADED
Denial of harm to other's : HEY, I DIDN'T FORCE THEM TO USE DRUG'S, THEY CAME TO ME.
Reversving the blame: THE GOVERNMENT IS THE REAL CRIMINAL.
Appeal to higher purpose: I HAD BILL'S TO PAY
WEEK6 CRIMINAL LIFESTYLE & USERS
This session will focus on how we think our feelings and actions are a direct result of condition, or the world around us. For instance, we grew up in the slums so it's okay for you to act without morals or priniciples. It's alright for you to drop out of school. It's alright for us to sell and use drugs. It's alright to abondon our childern and family, and the community. It's alright to live a criminal lifestyle. From the time we were born we have been developing belief and perceptions and values. Based on the people who raised us, the so called friends we hung out with, the trap and street corners we grew up on, and the events we experienced, we developed a unique way of seeing and thinking about everything we experienced. This is how our criminal lifestyle got started and from there we developed certain criminal thinking errors that has help shaped our value system.
Make a list of your criminal payoffs-vs- your losses and setback.
Payoff -vs- costs
Lot of cash Broken family
Status Poor health
Luxury housing No values
Women/men Prison
Drug/Alchol Torn community
Power Lost of property
WEEK 7 Living with others
This session will focus on identifying and exploring family issues: How we deal with our childern, Women, Men and community at large. We will discuss how our values effect our relationships with other's and improving communication skills. We will look at the pain and harm we have caused in others, and those who care about us, and what we can do to make things right ( change our value system ) This session will use role playing and practice in actual situations.
WEEK 8 Resposibility
Own up to the damage you caused. Stand up and take responsibility for the ways you have hurt others. Quit making excuses and playing down the suffering you have caused. Make a responsibility statement and read it to class.
WEEK 9 Recovery Mainenance
In this class we will be placing emphasis on identifying individual relapse "Triggers".
WEEK 10 Relapse Prevention
This class will focus on developing a relapse prevention plan as well as initiating a balanced and healthy style of living. 1. Study and stay around positive pepole.
2. Avoid old friends, negative people, bars & clubs.
3. Stay focus and eliminate unhealthy behavior.
WEEK 11 Transition
This session will focus on re-entry into lives of our families, communities and employment related skills.
WEEK 12 Staying true to our values
In this class we will focus on everything that we have covered in the past 12 weeks and all of the things that we must do in order to stay on the right path to success.
Objective: CHANGING VALUE SYSTEMS
Week 1 Introduction
During the introduction we will touch on the purpose of the class and the various topics we will cover over a twelve week period.
TOPICS
WEEK 2 Defining Values
WEEK 3 Origin of Values
WEEK 4 Prioitizing our Values
WEEK 5 Blaming & Diversion
WEEK 6 Criminal lifestyles & Users
WEEK 7 Living with others
WEEK 8 Responsibilty
WEEK 9 Recovery Maintenance
WEEK10 Relapse Prevention
WEEK 11 Transition
WEEK 12 Staying true to our Values
WEEK 2 Defining Values
Group Discussion : What are Values ?
We will discuss way's of challenging our thinking errors and focus on what is a rational thought versus an irrational thought.
We will take words like Morals, Principles, Worth, Honesty, and Esteemed Characteristic, etcs, and break them down using Webster's dictionary as our base.
We will discuss individually how and what these word's mean to us, and why they are important in our lives.
Define the following word's:
1 Respect 2. Moral 3. Honesty 4. Worth 5. Responsibility 6. Principles 7. Esteemed Characteristic....
Give a brief reason why these values are important in our lives.....
WEEK 3. ORIGIN OF VALUES
Group Discussion: Where do our values come from?
In this session we will cover the sources of our values systems. Our sources can be our parents, Churches, Mosques, Schools, Friends, The streets, B.E.T., vh1 and even Telemundo.....
Although values can come from many different places, it is very important that we be true to ourseleves.
WEEK 4 PRIORITIZING OUR VALUES
Group Discussion:
Putting the thing's most important to us first, and the thing's less important last.. Here is a list of thing's that should be first. God, Family, Job , wORK, Friends, CLOTHES, CAR, HOME, EDUCATION
WEEK 5 BLAMING
This is a tactic that is used to keep us from looking at ourselves
Denial of responsibility: I WAS SET UP
Denial of Injury: I HAD A GUN BUT IT WASN'T LOADED
Denial of harm to other's : HEY, I DIDN'T FORCE THEM TO USE DRUG'S, THEY CAME TO ME.
Reversving the blame: THE GOVERNMENT IS THE REAL CRIMINAL.
Appeal to higher purpose: I HAD BILL'S TO PAY
WEEK6 CRIMINAL LIFESTYLE & USERS
This session will focus on how we think our feelings and actions are a direct result of condition, or the world around us. For instance, we grew up in the slums so it's okay for you to act without morals or priniciples. It's alright for you to drop out of school. It's alright for us to sell and use drugs. It's alright to abondon our childern and family, and the community. It's alright to live a criminal lifestyle. From the time we were born we have been developing belief and perceptions and values. Based on the people who raised us, the so called friends we hung out with, the trap and street corners we grew up on, and the events we experienced, we developed a unique way of seeing and thinking about everything we experienced. This is how our criminal lifestyle got started and from there we developed certain criminal thinking errors that has help shaped our value system.
Make a list of your criminal payoffs-vs- your losses and setback.
Payoff -vs- costs
Lot of cash Broken family
Status Poor health
Luxury housing No values
Women/men Prison
Drug/Alchol Torn community
Power Lost of property
WEEK 7 Living with others
This session will focus on identifying and exploring family issues: How we deal with our childern, Women, Men and community at large. We will discuss how our values effect our relationships with other's and improving communication skills. We will look at the pain and harm we have caused in others, and those who care about us, and what we can do to make things right ( change our value system ) This session will use role playing and practice in actual situations.
WEEK 8 Resposibility
Own up to the damage you caused. Stand up and take responsibility for the ways you have hurt others. Quit making excuses and playing down the suffering you have caused. Make a responsibility statement and read it to class.
WEEK 9 Recovery Mainenance
In this class we will be placing emphasis on identifying individual relapse "Triggers".
WEEK 10 Relapse Prevention
This class will focus on developing a relapse prevention plan as well as initiating a balanced and healthy style of living. 1. Study and stay around positive pepole.
2. Avoid old friends, negative people, bars & clubs.
3. Stay focus and eliminate unhealthy behavior.
WEEK 11 Transition
This session will focus on re-entry into lives of our families, communities and employment related skills.
WEEK 12 Staying true to our values
In this class we will focus on everything that we have covered in the past 12 weeks and all of the things that we must do in order to stay on the right path to success.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Why You Hatin'?
To hate is to be in complete denial of one's own potential, focusing on another's degree of success, or what they currently are in possession of, instead of tipping your mental cap to him/her and their achievements in a congratulatory fashion. Why not use their accomplishments as a form of fuel to enable your mental motors to run harder toward whatever it is you always truly desire to achieve? This would make you stronger, and wise enough, to snatch something that you saw as beautiful in your Visions/Dreams and bring them into current, active reality...
I ask you "Why Hate?" "Why you hating?" You could be so much more than the person you're presently wasting time envying; you're only as much as you believe yourself to be! Food for thought:
Two people wanted to go to a concert that was coming up. The tickets were $20.00 a piece. Neither had the whole $20 right then, but they had two weeks to get it. They asked each other what was the plan to get the money. One said it was no problem because he gets $25.00 a week allowance anyway. We'll refer to him as Dude #1. The other dude wasn't as fortunate, but wanted to go, and knew dwelling on Dude #1's success wasn't going to get him in the concert, so immediately he devised a plan to get what he needed, in two weeks leading up to the concert day.
Dude #2 cut grass, raked leaves, and other odds and ends jobs accumilating $465.00, so he bought a fresh outfit, rented a nice car, and paid to be in V.I.P. with the stars they'd come to see. Dude #1 began to hate on Dude #2 talking to any and everybody who would listen, telling them how he really don't have it like that, he's just fronting. Dude #2 ended up free styling to the entertainer and they liked him so much he received a recording deal. Years later he's a top entertainer with everything he's always dreamed of, while Dude #1 ended up fat, struggling to survive, living from small check to small check with his only claim to fame being that he knows Dude#2.
Just in case you didn't catch the message... I'll shed a little light on it. In the beginning when things didn't look promising for Dude#2, he didn't waste his time hating on Dude#1 because he didn't have the burden of trying to get the money up for their combined desire. Instead he did what he had to do to make what he wanted real in his life, while Dude #1 is still wasting his life allowing fear and envy of other people's determination, courage and accomplishments to rob him of his potential.
So I ask... Why You Hating? Who are you?... What are you?.... The Hater, or the one being hated on???
Is this a disease?
Terrance "Gangsta" Williams
I ask you "Why Hate?" "Why you hating?" You could be so much more than the person you're presently wasting time envying; you're only as much as you believe yourself to be! Food for thought:
Two people wanted to go to a concert that was coming up. The tickets were $20.00 a piece. Neither had the whole $20 right then, but they had two weeks to get it. They asked each other what was the plan to get the money. One said it was no problem because he gets $25.00 a week allowance anyway. We'll refer to him as Dude #1. The other dude wasn't as fortunate, but wanted to go, and knew dwelling on Dude #1's success wasn't going to get him in the concert, so immediately he devised a plan to get what he needed, in two weeks leading up to the concert day.
Dude #2 cut grass, raked leaves, and other odds and ends jobs accumilating $465.00, so he bought a fresh outfit, rented a nice car, and paid to be in V.I.P. with the stars they'd come to see. Dude #1 began to hate on Dude #2 talking to any and everybody who would listen, telling them how he really don't have it like that, he's just fronting. Dude #2 ended up free styling to the entertainer and they liked him so much he received a recording deal. Years later he's a top entertainer with everything he's always dreamed of, while Dude #1 ended up fat, struggling to survive, living from small check to small check with his only claim to fame being that he knows Dude#2.
Just in case you didn't catch the message... I'll shed a little light on it. In the beginning when things didn't look promising for Dude#2, he didn't waste his time hating on Dude#1 because he didn't have the burden of trying to get the money up for their combined desire. Instead he did what he had to do to make what he wanted real in his life, while Dude #1 is still wasting his life allowing fear and envy of other people's determination, courage and accomplishments to rob him of his potential.
So I ask... Why You Hating? Who are you?... What are you?.... The Hater, or the one being hated on???
Is this a disease?
Terrance "Gangsta" Williams
Monday, July 14, 2008
He Was Once My Best Friend
Growing up I had lots of friends, but there was one I didn't know of at that time. He sat back and waited on his chance to present himself into my life. The strangest thing I can remember is, I'd heard of his name mentioned many times but it never registered to me exactly who he was and the major part he would play in my outcome of my life...
There would be times when I would be lying alone in bed and out of nowhere the homie showed up. Everytime he appeared it was concerning some drama. Either he wanted me to rob someone, kill someone or break some female's heart. When my intentions were to do and be positive the homie would pop up and say, "Homie I can read your mind. Don't worry about taking your girl to the movies or spending time with your children- let's bleed the block (aka hustle).
No matter what the outcome of my day was he was a major part of it. Some days now that I sit back and think on it, I smile, because I allowed him to deceive me. However, as I reflect on my past, I did enjoy hearing the homie's voice because it motivated me to continue in my wrong doings. I know he had his purpose and I got the satisfaction...
MATTHEW 4:8-9
8. Again the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;
9. And saith unto him, all these things will I give thee, if thou fall down and worship me.
Surah 17:62-63
[Iblis (Satan)] said: "See this one whom you have honourned above me, if you give me respite (keep me alive) to the Day of Resurrection, I will surely seize and mislead his offspring (by sending them astray) all but a few!
63. (Allah) said: "Go, and whosoever of them follows you, surely, Hell will be the recompense of you (all) an ample recompense.
Surah 4:116 Verily, Allah forgives not (the sin of) setting up partners (in worship) with him, but He forgives whom He wills, sins other than that, and whoever sets up partners in worship with Allah has indeed strayed far away.
Now you have been warned...
TERRANCE"GANGSTA"WILLIAMS
There would be times when I would be lying alone in bed and out of nowhere the homie showed up. Everytime he appeared it was concerning some drama. Either he wanted me to rob someone, kill someone or break some female's heart. When my intentions were to do and be positive the homie would pop up and say, "Homie I can read your mind. Don't worry about taking your girl to the movies or spending time with your children- let's bleed the block (aka hustle).
No matter what the outcome of my day was he was a major part of it. Some days now that I sit back and think on it, I smile, because I allowed him to deceive me. However, as I reflect on my past, I did enjoy hearing the homie's voice because it motivated me to continue in my wrong doings. I know he had his purpose and I got the satisfaction...
MATTHEW 4:8-9
8. Again the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;
9. And saith unto him, all these things will I give thee, if thou fall down and worship me.
Surah 17:62-63
[Iblis (Satan)] said: "See this one whom you have honourned above me, if you give me respite (keep me alive) to the Day of Resurrection, I will surely seize and mislead his offspring (by sending them astray) all but a few!
63. (Allah) said: "Go, and whosoever of them follows you, surely, Hell will be the recompense of you (all) an ample recompense.
Surah 4:116 Verily, Allah forgives not (the sin of) setting up partners (in worship) with him, but He forgives whom He wills, sins other than that, and whoever sets up partners in worship with Allah has indeed strayed far away.
Now you have been warned...
TERRANCE"GANGSTA"WILLIAMS
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