Friday, July 4, 2008

My Struggle

I realize, perhaps, that you may not know me.

Thusly, not only do I thank you for reading this material, but allowing me an opportunity to introduce myself.

I was born Terrance E. Williams aka Gangsta, New Orleans HotBoy. I'm presently 31 years old, and an inmate incarcerated since March 6, 1998-- for CCE Continuing Criminal Enterprise and Solicitation to murder.

I am a man who allowed the trials of this world to steal my dreams of playing professional football. At the age of 21, I was arrested. At that point in my life I lacked discipline, not only for myself, but others as well. I became infatuated with the lusts of this world: materialism, sexism and money. This purported my desire to deal and sell drugs. The justification I sold myself on was the catalyst of my mentality. I felt that if I didn't provide the service, someone else would. Why shouldn't I make the loot?

Consequently, the result of this primitive thinking, resulted in a sentence of Life, plus twenty! I now face the reality that I may never experience life to the fullest.

Please don't feel that I am seeking your sympathy, I'm merely telling you about me. Furthermore, this experience allows me to understand the mercifulness of God. In the midst of the darkness of ignorance and hell of incarceration, God has allowed Light in my life. I'm able to now see my ineffectiveness, and insufficiency as a man in America. We have failed our women, our community, and our God. We've failed in our basic duty to protect and provide for the precious gifts from above.

Finally, some may call this simply "prison religion." To those I ask... what better place to seek God, than at the bottom of the pit? God places us in situations to remove the hinderances around us. All in efforts to save our souls.

Terrance "Gangsta" Williams

1 comment:

Christopher R Caronia said...

My name is christopher carona, you gave the hot boys their name and you was ceo of the uptown superstars label, you and bryce was on the disc callin from the feds 'that bus sitten on 82 inch chrome wit the water fountain 'haha. yeah brah its crazy even though I never knew you personnaly I always looked up to real gangstas like you.Im a white boy and I was born in metairie but i moved back and forth to my aunts house on reneyes in the 9th ward cross the canal . thats where i started lookin to the streets as a role model, I always had an eye for real , like they say real recognize real and like i always say you cant become real you just born that way, I got involved in drugs, violence, and came close to death many times. I wanted to make a name for myself on them N.O. streets like sam skully, meatball, nap,gangsta, blabba and bryce. but lets face it in New Orleans aint no white boys gettin credit for be real gangstas it just dont happen.I moved to houston after katrina and i hit my bottom i cried out to God and he saved me. I aint never been the same but now i been strugglin with the lusts of this world and sometimes i wished i had been locked up myself cuz its ah dirty world and I feel like being locked up would keep me focused on the Lord. I ask that you pray for me my brotha , im so thankful your alive and well and you gonna make it. God bless Hot Boy Gangsta. write back if you can thanks and you aint missin nothin in this dirty world. God got you right where he want you